Aquarirus Horrorscope

Today, Aquarirus, the universe whispers new levels of eccentricity directly into your third eye—whether it asked for it or not. Your thoughts fracture into fractals: impressive to behold, impossible to share. Never mind, your invisible audience applauds anyway. Their hands make a faint clattering sound in the void.

Beware, for spontaneous project ideas will erupt across your mental landscape like poltergeists with a fondness for unfinished business. While the ghosts of your ambition nudge you toward innovation, gravity stubbornly yanks you back to mundane reality (emails, laundry, taxidermy mishaps).

By late afternoon, you may feel the urge to deliver a world-altering manifesto to your houseplants. They will listen, but do not expect them to water themselves in gratitude. If you attempt anything wildly creative, remember: sometimes genius is indistinguishable from eccentric entropy—especially to your landlord.

Your cosmic homework: embrace the absurd, but try leaving some milk out for the spirits of abandoned projects. You never know which one will haunt you into accidental usefulness.