Leono Horrorscope

Today, Leono, the universal spotlight shifts directly onto your existential shadow, illuminating every minor frustration until it buzzes with Oscar-worthy significance. Drop your pen? It's not a setback—it's the downfall of artistic civilization, starring you in the lead role. No misfortune is too trivial to announce with a tragic sigh heard three galaxies away.

The cosmic stage manager has misplaced your script; you'll find yourself improvising reactions so theatrical that strangers may wonder if they're extras in your private apocalypse. Savor the confusion—it means you're truly being watched, even if only by the abyss.

Expect a spontaneous monologue about the utter futility of seeking likes from household appliances. Sure, your toaster still won't clap, but the cosmic audience relishes your relentless need for validation, even (especially) when the applause is imaginary.

Today's drama may come with a supporting cast of existential dread, but remember: the universe adores a performer who can wring tragedy from a stubbed toe. Take a bow, Leono—the void is giving a standing ovation.