Librawr Horrorscope

Today, Librawr, the celestial coin flips in the dark, and predictably lands right on its edge. Your morning may be devoted to agonizing over which outfit to wear, only to emerge wearing pajamas, deftly disguised as an intentional minimalist aesthetic. Cosmic forces delight in your Hamlet routine, and the only thing balanced is your mounting indecision.

Expect a barrage of choices with no discernible right answer: oat milk or regular, email reply now or never, flee or just keep scrolling. Avoid making any irreversible life decisions before your third existential sigh of the afternoon—astral timekeepers suggest even that might not be enough preparation.

Your search for equilibrium may lead to the discovery that "balance" is just the universe’s polite way of describing a perpetual free-fall. On the bright side, paralysis by analysis does burn a surprising number of calories, especially when accompanied by mild, free-floating dread. Be wary of advice from strangers or loved ones; today, even your reflection looks suspiciously noncommittal.

In summary, breathe, pretend you’re meditating, and remember: sometimes no choice is the most profound choice of all—or at least, the one requiring less effort.