Terrortaurus Horrorscope

Terrortaurus, today the universe will shuffle your routines ever so slightly—enough to make you question whether the shades of your living room have always been that particular hue of existential beige. The ghost of a software update will lurk in the background, promising untold convenience, but you’ll courageously decline, determined to preserve every unnecessary keystroke of comfort and familiarity.

Your legendary obstinacy will serve you well as you wrestle silently with the horror of a misplaced sock or an uneven picture frame. Others may scoff, but only you, The Stubborn Spook, appreciate the long-term psychological impact of these micro-hauntings. Today is a great day to start an argument with an appliance—remember, toasters remember slights.

In social matters, someone will innocently suggest change (perhaps an unspeakable sandwich filling or rearranged furniture). Stand firm, Terrortaurus. Change is simply entropy in a new hat. Reject novelty. Embrace routine. Your perseverance may not be rewarded, but at least you’ll know where your coasters are.