Virgloom Horrorscope

Today, Virgloom, the universe has laid out each moment in your path with agonizing precision, but beware: a rogue comma might slip through the cracks. Your cursed desire for flawlessness will be tested by the apparition of a single misplaced post-it, creasing your spirit and your sense of stationery order. You may find yourself haunted by forgotten grocery lists, manifesting in spectral whispers just as you reach the checkout.

Despite your careful rituals, chaos will find a route through your alphabetized defenses. The more you straighten, the more the cosmic entropy giggles from under your meticulously dusted bed. Colleagues and houseplants alike will fail to meet the standard you've set (not even the ficus has learned to alphabetize its leaves).

Embrace the imperfection, and you might discover that sometimes, a smudged page holds secrets the pristine ones never dared to share. But don't lose hope: those nightmares about coffee rings on spreadsheets are just your psyche's way of making small talk.

Tonight, when you're revising email drafts for the 13th time, remember: the universe doesn't care if you spelled "pharaoh" wrong in 2004. But your dreams just might.